Pillar
by Gamesplayers
Summary: Death.It was like a dark silence falling upon your heart and soul. And into that darkness, something even gloomier sustained. Vengeance. But when you find a pillar strong enough to support you, life becomes suddenly more bearable... Rated T for safety.


Pillar

The world suddenly took a darker shade for the Cousland family the night that arl Rendon Howe stepped into the castle.

But the worst of this situation had, by far, fallen upon the strong and yet frail shoulders of the youngest of the nobles; lady Elissa Cousland.

Sitting beside Duncan, she reconsidered the night everything took a turn for the worst.

She was asleep into Dairren's arms, smiling. It was against noble policy for a young woman to deliberately seek out the attention of a man, but Elissa was daring. And she hated the etiquette related to her rank.

_She had hated it._

Now, she would have given everything to be back into the walls of her castle and be scolded by her father for her boyish manners.

Everything.

So into his arms, she was sleeping soundly. Dairren was a good man, good mannered and handsome. Their parents were planning to marry them; she knew this. A noble marriage for a noble life. And for the first time, that evening –that night- she thought that sleeping in the arms of a man, in a comfortable bed, for the rest of her life wouldn't be quite so bad.

But those wise considerations had died a few hours later when the blood of her relatives had stained the ground of her home.

They had died along with her family, her rank and her name._. _

_Her mother was dead. So was her father._

She sat under the heavy sun, a fine sheet of sweat appearing onto her dark skin.

Elissa had quite an exotic appearance for a noble human woman; tall and tanned because of all her training with the sword passed in the courtyards; she had white-blond short hair and grey eyes, dark lips and particularly beautiful features.

She had always drawn the attention of the men around her and she had abused this many times, bringing shame upon her family as her virtue had been taken away before marriage. But she wouldn't care about that. She was a warrior, not a chantry sister.

_Death._

_It was like a dark silence falling upon your heart and soul. _

_And into that darkness, something even gloomier sustained._

_Vengeance._

_The warm embrace of vengeance._

Duncan was talking to her. Yet, she didn't look up. She wasn't listening. His words bore no meaning. They bore no sound or sense. They were empty.

Just as empty as she was.

_Our daughter will survive and let her mark on the world…_

_Go and make us proud, pup…_

Elissa held back a sob. Duncan wasn't looking at her, but her Mabari was. The dog looked sad as well. Intelligent creature it was. Absently, she petted the dog's head, wondering about that last prophecy her father had murmured between bloodied lips.

She looked up at the sun. It didn't shine as bright as it used to. Nothing around her seemed to be of any interest. Everything was blank.

Blank of meaning and life. Like her actions.

Like her family.

Before her, a gigantic fire burnt. It seemed like it had been there for an eternity and a half by now.

She smirked and chuckled bitterly.

Eternity; something she learned didn't existed.

The hound barked.

"Do not forget to meet with Alistair. You have to go through the joining tonight." Elissa finally heard the old man say. She looked up at him.

"Alistair?" She whispered. Her voice was low and weak, while it was usually strong and commanding. Duncan considered her a moment.

"Yes. The other Grey Warden that is here. You should go fetch him and tell him that it is time to start the Joining." Elissa sighed, looking at the ground. At her boots. When did getting up started to be so hard, again?

Nodding, she got up, but did so reluctantly. The dog would stay with Duncan while she would be away looking for some Alistair person. She sighed again and started to walk towards… She didn't even know. All she was aware of was the weight of her armour and the weight of an emotion-emptied mind.

A guard saluted her.

They recognized her. Everyone did. And yet, so few knew of the drama she had been through a few days ago.

A noblewoman who had, in the matter of a few minutes, become a homeless warrior. A fighter who had nothing to fight for. Perhaps killing darkspawns wasn't such a bad option in these conditions. If she was lucky enough, she wouldn't survive for more than a day.

_Make us proud, pup…_

She stopped to hear a cleric pray the Maker and witness a handful of soldiers on their knees, nervous and listening to the woman. They shook in fear at the idea of the war that would take place soon.

Elissa wasn't afraid of dying. Not anymore.

But one thing kept her from running straight into a pit.

_Vengeance._

A man came to stand before her. She bumped into him. Taking a step back, Elissa glared up at him. He was a warrior, just like her. Pale skin and he was missing some hair, though what remained was auburn. He looked like he was into his forties. "Greetings. You must be the third recruit we're head about?" She blinked. His words took a moment to make sense into her mind. He sounded to… Blank.

"I am. Who are you?" She replied. Dryly. He presented himself; Jory was his name.

"I was not aware they permitted women to join the Grey Wardens. None of those I've seen thus far have been." Elissa was not in the mood to listen to those sexist comments.

"Is that a problem for you?" He mumbled something about Duncan and the fact that if the man was impressed with her, that was enough for him to believe she was worthy to enter the order.

"I hope we're both lucky enough to eventually join the Wardens. Is it not thrilling to be given that chance?" She sighed.

"I wouldn't be here if I had a choice in the matter." Elissa said, crossing her arms under her plated breasts.

Jory ignored that opening and continued on with some lame question about the joining ritual. Elissa escaped the conversation by nodding until he was done. A moment later, he seemed to understand what she meant and left her alone, mumbling in a more or less irritated fashion that he should go back to Duncan. "Yes. Do that." Elissa had answered, still with that dryness to her broken voice.

_Broken._

_Like a shadow upon you. Watching over your shoulder._

Sighing as heavily as the world, she started to walk around the camp again. A prisoner in a cage seemed to ask for mercy with pleading eyes and skinny members. She merely addressed him a glance before walking away.

Right now, she knew no pity or mercy.

Right now, she was a prisoner just like him.

But of something else…

_Vengeance._

The Quartermaster saluted her and proposed her some goods. Elissa bought a backpack and continued her way to the North of Ostagar.

The trees seemed dull. The walls seemed sad. The air was mourning. The wind was dying.

So was her soul.

_Empty shell._

In the back of her mind, she had a thought for Fergus. She hoped her brother would be alive. She hoped they could meet again.

But she doubted it.

Highly.

Going up a few ramps, Elissa finally remarked two silhouettes standing.

A mage and a warrior. She neared them without real interest.

A quarrel started between the two. The mage seemed particularly irritated and aggressive while the warrior bore a more… Sarcastic attitude.

And he caught her attention.

Tall and pale, he had short light brown hair and sharp features. A pointy nose and thin lips. "I came to deliver a message from the revered mother." Said the warrior. The mage answered with energy.

"I will not be harassed in this matter!" He said. The warrior shifted lightly. Not impressed at all by the mage's attitude.

"Yes. I was harassing you by delivering a message." Replied the man. Elissa studied him, surprised and interested.

"Your glibness does you no credit." Said the mage, irritated.

"And here I taught we were going along so well! I was even going to name one of my children after you; the Grumpy One." Elissa's jaws fell lightly, impressed with the man's harsh and yet amusing ways.

"Enough! I will speak to the woman if I must. Get out of my way, fool!" Answered the mage, finally, before he turned and left.

Casually, the warrior turned to face Elissa and neared her. She stared at him. "You know." The man addressed her bluntly. "One good thing about the Blight is how it brings people together." She realised her mouth was still open because her jaws couldn't drop any lower.

"Sorry." She articulated, momentarily forgetting about her pain. "What?"

"Oh, nothing. Just trying to find a good side to this all." He shifted lightly as if nothing had happened at all. "Wait." He studied her features more closely. "We haven't met, have we? I don't suppose you happen to be another mage?" The question caught her off guard, just like this man was, but it made her smile, nonetheless.

"Would that make your day worse?" She asked, now tilting her head to the side, lightly.

"Oh hardly. I only like to know what my chances are to be turned into a toad." Elissa laughed. Softly. "Oh, wait!" He interrupted himself. "You must be Duncan's new recruit!" He shook his head softly. "I should have recognized you right away. I apologize." She looked at him a moment.

"And you must be Alistair."

"Did Duncan mention me? Nothing bad, I hope." He shrugged. "As the junior member of the order, I'll be accompanying you when you prepare for the Joining." He explained. She nodded, now focusing on his face.

"Pleased to meet you." Her voice sounded so very natural, now… "My name is Elissa." She said.

"Right! That was the name!" Alistair examined her, as if knowing her name would excuse him of letting his eyes trail down her armour that way. "You know…" He started. "It just occurred to me that there have never been many women in the Grey Warders. I wonder why that is?" When Jory had asked that question earlier, she was ready to kill him on the spot. Now, she merely kept smiling.

"You want more women in the Wardens, do you?" She asked, her voice slightly inviting. He didn't deny that affirmation.

"So. I'm curious." Alistair changed the subject. "Have you ever actually encountered darkspawn before?"

"No. I haven't."

He stared at her a moment before telling her how monstrous those creatures were and how nervous he was the first time he encountered one. Elissa listened to him, but her mind was drifting elsewhere again. "… Anyhow, whenever you're ready let's head back to Duncan. I imagine he's eager to get things started." Alistair finally said. The Cousland nodded. This man was making the dark curtain on her mind a little less thick.

"I look forward to traveling with you." She said, smiling.

"You do…? Hm, that's a switch." Elissa didn't quite understood what he meant. "Anyhow, if you have questions, don't be shy. Otherwise, lead on!" She nodded and turned around.

_Alistair_.

A name she knew she wasn't about to forget because suddenly, everything was brighter around her and the darkness in her heart seemed to be calmer.

_Alistair._

It rolled in her mind as she walked. And she felt it. She felt that with that man by her side, the death of her family wouldn't be in vain because a greater future was drawing closer with every step she took.

He would be her pillar.

And as she lifted her more determined face to look up at the shining sun, it was already shining a little brighter.

But she was far from knowing how much the sun would only get darker with this adventure.

Losing a family was hard to bear.

_Vengeance._

But lifting the weight of the world upon your shoulders was, by far, worse.

… _Leave her marks on the world…_

And Elissa Cousland was about to learn it.

* * *

**Hoped you liked it.**

**R&R**

**Gamesplayers.**


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